I dont know what is wrong with me.
I feel... no, scratch that.
I don't feel.
The root? The reason? I dont know. I dont want to know.
"Sa 5 taong pinagsamahan natin, nagtitiis na lang ako for the last two years."
"Mabait naman sha eh. Ayaw ko shang saktan kaya kahit hindi ko na sha mahal, kakayanin ko. Kaya ko naman yun eh."
"Ok naman ako. May baby na naman kami eh... and i'm friends with him. But i'm dating someone new."
" Nasa hospital sha ngayon. naka confine pati anak nya. wala nga nagbabantay eh. bumababa pa sha ng may dextrose para bantayan ang baby nya. Yung asawa nya, mag-a abroad daw kasama ang babae nya."
"Putangina nya, Anna, bullshit sya"
Real Drama. Real Words spoken by the people i work with, the same people I chat with everyday. Sadness, betrayal, hate swirling inside my head. Its like wearing Prada beside a homeless guy garbed in a tattered rag. No matter how great you look, you feel sick to your stomach knowing that things are not right.
Yes, everything seems great, but in the pit of my stomach, i know that its not entirely true.
CHANGING MY WORLD, ONE MISTAKE AT A TIME.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
The Amazing Twins... the Finale
Peter and Paul
They were supposed to show the entire world that their silence is a prelude to something brilliant.
I was supposed to see them walking along the busy streets of Makati in their dashing corporate attire and I would finally have the courage to ask them out for coffee and hear them talk about their lives so far.
They were not supposed to leave so abruptly with so much life and so many people who love them to leave behind.
I admit, I never got to know them on a deeper level although I wanted to. The twins were the most gorgeous yet elusive of all my male batchmates. Everyone wanted to get a piece of them but only a few really were allowed to get into their space.
I'm happy because they graced my life with their presence, that more than once, I became the recipient of their tentative but heart-tugging smile. I'm even proud to say that once, I became the object of their prank where they pretend to be the other person. Yes, I am thankful to God for even the smallest interaction that we had.
When we went to the final wake and the burial, Jack and Frodo asked us to write a little message for Paul and Peter which will be given to their parents to read. I stopped, reminisce, and held on to that blue scented paper for what seemed like forever. My mind was blank, i felt so guilty for having nothing to say except how I used to have a crush on both of them and that Peter used to be my 'alaga' in Memcom. Finally scribbling something true and heartfelt to say, I gave the paper to Jack and Frodo and watched the huge number of people in the Twin's wake. Despite their quiet nature, they were well loved by everyone around them. I looked at the grieving parents and tears started falling unconsciously. I turned my gaze on the twin's girlfriends. Paul's girlfriend of 2 years was looking blank and I felt sorry for her loss. I was amazed that Peter had a girlfriend, not because he's not goodlooking (he is, extremely) but because between the two, he was the more silent one. We found out that they have only been together for barely 3 weeks. I will not judge who grieves more, the one who has been with Paul for more than 2 year, or the one who never got the chance to experience how great it was to be loved by Peter.
When Tubby, Flamey and I had the chance to rest in Paul's room, I joked that this was the closest we'll ever be to being the twin's girlfriends. and Tubby, answered half jokingly, that will never happen, past, present and future. and we all agreed.
With this, I want to thank Paul and Peter for their smiles and their presence that made all the girls in Econ fall at their feet. Thank you Paul, for smiling at me more often, for talking to me more often. Thank you peter for choosing me as your Commhead in Ecosoc, your groupmate in BA, and being Ms. June in the Grandtrad.
You will be missed.
They were supposed to show the entire world that their silence is a prelude to something brilliant.
I was supposed to see them walking along the busy streets of Makati in their dashing corporate attire and I would finally have the courage to ask them out for coffee and hear them talk about their lives so far.
They were not supposed to leave so abruptly with so much life and so many people who love them to leave behind.
I admit, I never got to know them on a deeper level although I wanted to. The twins were the most gorgeous yet elusive of all my male batchmates. Everyone wanted to get a piece of them but only a few really were allowed to get into their space.
I'm happy because they graced my life with their presence, that more than once, I became the recipient of their tentative but heart-tugging smile. I'm even proud to say that once, I became the object of their prank where they pretend to be the other person. Yes, I am thankful to God for even the smallest interaction that we had.
When we went to the final wake and the burial, Jack and Frodo asked us to write a little message for Paul and Peter which will be given to their parents to read. I stopped, reminisce, and held on to that blue scented paper for what seemed like forever. My mind was blank, i felt so guilty for having nothing to say except how I used to have a crush on both of them and that Peter used to be my 'alaga' in Memcom. Finally scribbling something true and heartfelt to say, I gave the paper to Jack and Frodo and watched the huge number of people in the Twin's wake. Despite their quiet nature, they were well loved by everyone around them. I looked at the grieving parents and tears started falling unconsciously. I turned my gaze on the twin's girlfriends. Paul's girlfriend of 2 years was looking blank and I felt sorry for her loss. I was amazed that Peter had a girlfriend, not because he's not goodlooking (he is, extremely) but because between the two, he was the more silent one. We found out that they have only been together for barely 3 weeks. I will not judge who grieves more, the one who has been with Paul for more than 2 year, or the one who never got the chance to experience how great it was to be loved by Peter.
When Tubby, Flamey and I had the chance to rest in Paul's room, I joked that this was the closest we'll ever be to being the twin's girlfriends. and Tubby, answered half jokingly, that will never happen, past, present and future. and we all agreed.
With this, I want to thank Paul and Peter for their smiles and their presence that made all the girls in Econ fall at their feet. Thank you Paul, for smiling at me more often, for talking to me more often. Thank you peter for choosing me as your Commhead in Ecosoc, your groupmate in BA, and being Ms. June in the Grandtrad.
You will be missed.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Surprise Visit
AM,
I decided to guest-blog.. haha. These are our pics when you and Erik visited me.
Amishu,
Euns
I decided to guest-blog.. haha. These are our pics when you and Erik visited me.
Amishu,
Euns
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