how to disappear completely?

nalolow- EQ ako.

for some unfathomable reason, i had this sudden urge to cry. bakit kaya? uhm, well... i know i shouldn't be lying in my own blog but, uhrm, i dont know.

kung kelan naman kasi 12 units na lang ako and 2 months shy of graduating, saka naman ako na-sad ng ganito... i should be prancing around, removed of the burden of a hectic social life, enjoying my single blessedness. unfortunately, im not. eeeeeeh kasi naman.. wala.

i guess the free time was converted to emptiness, plaguing my existence... reminding me of the things more important but lacking in my life. like what? you dare ask. uhm, like an intense commitment to serve (after my term in ecosoc ended, i vowed to have some quality time for myself and my family therefore not having enough time for org work), the inspiration and drive to write in my blog, peace of mind and as expected, Love.

i dont know if its the scene where i saw thoushallnotbenamed and beyonce comfortably wrapped in an embrace or the realization that i am one of the few people from high school who never had a serious relationship in college or the fact that i cant find somebody to comfort me during times like these. Whatever the reason is, or are, my so-called happiness is blown to smithereens. (well, at least for now)

i've been racking my brains for something interesting and happy to write but there seems to be a gap there. a case of mental block or a case of emotional distress? ah ewan.

Good thing im going out tom... yes, a movie date with samantha..now, that's a happy thought. before the rainbow, however, comes the rain. in this case, i still have to endure a brainstorming meeting with my groupmates in STS tom which i hate because my mind's tired from overthinking. ayoko na.

Sometimes i just want the earth to swallow me... but then again, with all my whining and bitching, i bet it would spit me back up. life is so unfair.