Hope. Faith. Love.

Yesterday, I got to read some of my emails from 5 years ago, right when MTB and I were just starting. The exchange of emails transported me back to a period that reminded me how hard I fell for him, hook line and sinker. Funny but instead of feeling sad and bitter, I actually felt at peace and unexpectedly, hopeful for my future.

He had been my dream for almost a year before the Him+ Me became a reality. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, then this was the closest thing. He was the star that was impossible for me to reach and I was the mortal wishing and hoping that this star would fall for me. I loved him without reason, without fear, and without question. He was everything I wanted, prayed for, but never ever thought of having.

But I did.

The man I thought who was severely stoic when it comes to love was falling for me too. I don’t know if it was love that he initially felt or a need that I had been able to fill that made him like me. Whatever it was, I knew that I must have done something right and I just need to know what it was so I may be able to recreate it with my Mr. Right.

Those email exchanges, as distant as they are now, are written reminders that there is no such thing as impossible when it comes to God's plan; that if it is God’s will, no matter how hopeless the situation may seem, it will happen.

Faith is such a beautiful and powerful thing. It gives me the courage to face each day with hope in my heart. It allows me to accept things that are beyond my control. It strengthened my knees to stand and face my battle when the easiest way is to breakdown.

Hope and faith--- I have them. A belief that one day, I’ll find the man who will accept me for who I am. A belief in the idea that everything that took place---the happiness that was cut short, the sadness and pain-- happened for a reason. Belief that God is preparing me for the RIGHT person. Belief that somebody will love me the way I deserved to be loved---  and the simplest way for this to happen is to be open and remove the chains of the past.  

Just one more revolution of hoping, believing, loving and failing, because in the next cycle, it will just be hoping, believing, loving, and finally living my happily ever after.

I am officially throwing away the chains. So help me God.