Haaaaaay- This is the Sound of Unsettling

I am so hating my work right now.

My appetite/ drive to work is getting frayed every second.

Iamthisclosetoresigning.


It’s not that I hate the job per se. I just don’t think that this is the right job for me. There are times when I would go to the bathroom to sleep. True Story. There are times when I feel like pulling all my hair out of frustration. True story. There are times when I feel like bashing my head on the computer screen. True story.

It makes me wonder how I lasted this long.


(Long Pause)


Maybe it’s the company (the group, not the firm) I am keeping that is making me stay for as long as my sanity holds me. I sooo love my team mates and I couldn’t have asked for a better set of first - office friends than them. Although I knew immediately that this is not a long term job for me, I never thought that I would give up on it within barely 5 months of working.

My job is hard – hard, at this point, an abysmal understatement. Being used to a dynamic, anything-goes environment, I deteriorate in structures and formalities. I find it so hard following and keeping up with the most minute details. They are killing me, these small niceties, little by little--- like a blunt razor blade slashing my veins.

However, I don’t like to border on the negative because if truth be told, I have gotten, ahem, am getting a lot out of this suffering than I would have expected in the first place.

*Great Team*

I am not only saying this because I am part of it. I am saying this, in all its chutzpah glory; we are indeed the best team here in XXXXXXXXX. In this regard, I would like to acknowledge my team mates for always supporting me and making me feel like I’m part of the family. Despite of my constant heavy sighs (which depresses the hell out of Ambec), my incessant chatters, my parasitic nature when it comes to toiletries, I have never felt more at home with them.

*Above Average Crushables*

When I say above average, I don’t pertain to Godlike/ Adonis-like guys. These are guys who have “excessive” qualities that border on the inhuman. I actually have two. The first one is overly old (I mean for me… duh?)… overly unreachable and overly virile. The other one, with a tinge of blood in my cheeks, is undoubtedly the most ‘religious’ guy in the planet. The frustrating part is that he has no plans of entering priesthood but has no plans of entering womanhood, este, the world with significant others either. Ting, my love life is nonexistent, thanks to guys like them.

*Foster Friends*

You don’t have to know a person for more than a year to realize he is worthy to keep for a lifetime. Getting stranded in the mountains does the trick. Just like the concept of the reality Shows i.e. Survivor, Big Brother, people tend to show their real colors once they undergo extremely difficult situations. In our case, the colors they showed were all in the purple/blue/ pink hemisphere--- and in my color-coded guide book, those are really positive colors. (They actually tinker on the periwinkles and lavenders---- really, really positive colors)

Right now, they are the only thing that keeps my work wheel rolling (apart from the vision of 5 pm and the pay on the 15th and 30th). I have a lot to thank them for, the continuation of my so-called life included. That’s why if you try to take away my sunshine i.e. Pico de Loro (PDL) friends, I’ll claw your eyes out, pluck out all your nose hair, do an open- heart surgery without anesthesia and using a rusting bread knife. Yes, that’s how close we are.

Okay, so I only mentioned three perks. I know there’s more (like the free Guylian chocolate I got for free from one of my clients) but I’d rather not mention them for the sake of consistency because, well… the point of this entry is to drill into this odd head of mine that I don’t like to work here anymore.


Im changing my mind… im almost liking it… Yes, I think I’m loving my work again! Hello paper work! Hello sticker paper! Hello to folding and inserting!

Whooops, sarcasm is taking over.

That was my futile attempt to joke about this entire resignation thing.

I still hate it. But I guess writing about it makes the burden less more gruesome than I thought. As a matter of fact, its becoming more… bearable.

Come Monday, I have to decide what I’ll do next. Will I throw in the towel? Will I just wait until the company vomits me out of orbit? Will I or will I not make a decision? Come Monday… Come Monday is Doomsday.