The Pico de Loro Experience: A Beautiful Disaster Part !

I never thought I could get out of there alive.

Last night, I spent the best, most horrifying moment of my life. Other near death experiences pale in comparison with what my officemates and I went through while climbing Pico de Loro. I swear I dont want to see, hear, talk about any mountain for the next couple of years.


We never should have pushed through with the climb in the first place. Who in his right mind would climb a mountain with a Signal #2 weather? Apparently, right mind is what our gang lacks.

“ano nga ulit yung Plan B?” I asked Bookie while waiting for the others to arrive in our meeting place in front of our office building.

“May bagyo eh.. Leslie’s na lang tayo! Rent a house tapos inuman magdamag.”

The mention of Tagaytay and Beer should have been enough to entice me to abort the mission. Plus, the weather was not very pleasing as well. Just when we were about to suggest the perfect plan B, Sir Andoy came back.

“Tara, wala na talagang atrasan! Rain or shine na talaga ito”

Uh-oh.

I went along with Sir Andoy, Ms. Gelli and Sir Ewick kaya soooobrang enjoy ang road trip namin. We were singing along old songs like Kaleidoscope World, Huling El Bimbo and other great 90’s songs.

We never expected the things that would happen when we get to Pico de Loro.

“ambec, classic ang look mo! Whaddup dog?

Ambec, my worst/best seatmate ever, was wearing a “Seth cohen Shirt” Long sleeves topped with a short sleeved shirt and army cut off pants. Kulang na lang, bling blings and she could pass as a member of Murder Inc. Tapos, she even wore her “poncho”/ garbage bag raincoat which steered great laughs from both Ms. Gelli and me. Little did we know that that was the best article of clothing to wear for that kind of a thing.

Wow, mountain. Ayos, nature lovers.

Twenty minutes into the hike, I was sweating like a pig and my shoes were absorbing as much mud that they can possibly handle. Now it was Ambec’s turn to laugh.

After 45 minutes, we arrived at the Base Camp which is short for Pico de Loro’s Gate of Hell. We ate our lunches and continued with our trek. We were 3 hours behind our schedule.

Then it started raining. Great, at least my shoes were not the only pair that was soaked heavily. The water-proof jacket Ms. Gelli lent me was, well, not as water proof as I wanted it to be. As a matter of fact, it was absorbing all the rain water like a sponge. Nyiiii, im wearing foamless sports bra! I don’t want a clean, PG 13- hike to look like a photo shoot for FHM. I mean me with the “not bad” boobs, perky nipples and wet hair. Nope, definitely not invoking positive feelings from me.

“are we there yet?” I asked after 3 hours of continuous walk. This time, I was looking less FMH-y but more Smokey Mountain-y.

“siguro mga isang oras na lang”

“sige, antayin ko na lang yung isang oras dito “they laughed but inside my head, a voice was telling me to run for the other direction.

Up Next: The Trail that Goes on Forever (Lord, Save my ass from Thorns)