4-man Claustrophobia

2:05 PM 8/13/2003
a week ago, i had one of the most terrifying 30 minutes of my life. i had to survive the presence of 3 people in my unwanted list. with all the stress im experiencing for the past 3 weeks, the last thing i wanted was to breathe the same oxygen as those people and hear them talk about thoushallnotbenamed's love life. okay, i admit that ive said im over him for the nth time.. its partially true but for them to talk about a situation where i am involved (and we're not even on speaking terms) was just downright nasty. if it wasnt for my dedication to my job, i wouldnt have sacrificed 30 minutes of my precious time with them. the air was filled with tension and i was feeling nauseated because of it. the first 10 minutes were fine. everything was civil and tolerable. but when burberry, my not-so-favorite person went inside the room, thats the time i could feel the hair on my nape stand up. it was enough of a torture to find some words to say to them, but it was even much of a torment to just shut up and listen to them harp about my ex's love life. it was as bad as hearing a fork scraping a blackboard. it was that bad..no, it was more than bad, it was horrible. while they went on blabbing about topics concerning thoushallnotbenamed, i cant help but wonder, why do we attract the presence of the people we least want to mingle with?

the same thing happened to my soulmate, anime, when he attended a drinking session with our acquaintances. he was saying that there was this guy who was being annoyingly flirty with him. anime, who was a self-confessed flirt, was not in the mood to do some hanky panky with that guy for many reasons. 1.) he was married 2.) he was with somebody(who is not his wife) 3.) and they were getting jiggy with it while he was flirting with him 4.) for the main reason that he just didn't want to. he was struggling to lambaste him with his favorite invectives, but probabably due to his not-so-high IQ, he didnt get the drift. he was relentless, and was being extraordinarily lame. my friend tubby and I were laughing our heads off when Anime started talking about this guy's pickup line. this guy, lets call him unwanted, said that he saw anime while he was jogging. although Anime is not that bad-looking, there is a .1% the philippine population that is that attractive to catch a person's attention WHILE jogging.. especially when theyre at least a hundred meters apart. aaaargh.. another case of an unwanted exchange of air. i pity him.

going back to my own story, my secret themesong (to help me relax) wasnt able to help me survive another 10 minutes with them. with my head bowed down, i went outside that four cornered room and let the hot tears escape me. i wanted to make them stop, to tell them to respect my presence, to just leave me alone but for the entire 30 minutes, all i was able to do was to shut the hell up. I am a fighter but i know that some battles are meant to be surrendered. you cant win a battle when you're claustrophobic and feeling naked with your clothes on.