Starry Eyed Girl NO MORE

and all it took was one simple and stupid mistake from me.

***************************************************

That's it. It's final. I dont like him anymore. Nope. He did nothing bad, he did nothing stupid. As a matter of fact, it was me who did something stupid i want to bang my head against the wall. I wish i didnt answer the query, I wish i hadnt been so "atribida" as so think I could handle a client question. grrr. and i had to bear his "huh?" look, and to make matters worse, i tried to joke about it.

aaargh. I cant let him or anyone look at me as if I'm this brainless little twit.

well, let me clear this up. He didnt say anything bad or hurtful. I'm the one feeling like the brainless twit because, well, I made a small mistake... and if you know me, you'll know that even the most minute thing bothers me. It eats me up and paralyzes me from thinking straight. I tend to blow things out of proportion. ITS ALL ME.

I just hated appearing stupid...

anyway, since i cant look at him now and not remember the super small booboo i committed, I opted not to crush on him anymore. Actually, its not only a matter of choice. I think my heart is giving out a signal that I cant go on liking him. I feel like squirming every time i would see him now, and that has nothing to do with any kilig factor.

Ok. so now, he wont be occupying precious space here in my blog (atleast for now). Let's move on, shall we?

***********************************************

The realization that i am no longer an "iska" is quickly creeping up on me. I miss college immensely. Take me back to UP, please.

I miss my orgmates, my ecosoc babies. I miss cutting classes, going to OZ, chatting with Kuya Vince and Kuya Rogie (Econ guards), criticizing the econ caf, sleeping in class. Shit. I miss ECON.

Its so hard to just take it all in. I'm getting old. Sooner or later, I would have to take life more seriously. I have to talk more slowly, think more shrewdly. I'm not looking forward to that day, i must say.

**********************************************

I forgot to tell you this MRT story which happened two weeks ago.

I was on my way home from an overtime. the MRT was full as usual and i had to stand up from ayala to cubao. In Guadalupe station, the driver started speaking.

"Kung sino man ang pumipindot ng emergency button, maaaring tumigil na kayo. Naabala ang driver. Kung may emergency, maaaring lumapit sa guard sa labas upang kayo ay matulungan. Maraming salamat po."

It made me laugh because i though it was juvenile of other people to play with the emergency button. It was also very audacious of him (or her) to do that.

Shaw Blvd station

"Pwede po, kung sino man ang pumipindot ng emergency button at kinakailangan nyo talaga ng tulong, lumapit lang po sa guard sa labas. hindi po tayo aalis dito hanggat hindi kayo tumitigil. konting pakiusap lang po."

and again at ortigas station

"pwede po, ang hirap nyong sawayin. kung may nakikita po kayong naglalaro sa emergency button, pwede pong pakikalabit at pakisaway."

and finally, Cubao station
" sa lahat po ng dadaan sa third car exit, sa iba na lang po tayo lumabas. May isang magaling kasing taong sumira ng pintuan naten diyan."

It made me laugh out loud. The irate driver was talking funny and I cant stop myself from laughing. He sounded like a grouchy old gay.